Neera, a 25 years old girl, is struggling with anxiety. She does not know what to do about it. Whenever something goes wrong, she gets so anxious. She is scared of everyone and everything. She lives away from her family and this hurts her even more. She cannot think straight or take any decision without asking her family members.
Today some of her friends asked her to go to a party with them. Due to her social anxiety, she refused to go with them. But now this prompt decision of her is killing her inside. She is thinking that she shouldn’t have turned them down. If she were gone with them she could enjoy a little at least. But at that moment, she couldn’t decide what would be best for her. So she had to miss the opportunity.
Once her friends are gone, she called one of her closest family members to tell him about the incident which is killing her. He showed support for her but said that she should have gone with them to increase her socializing skills. Now she is even more anxious. She cannot stop overthinking her action. She wants to go now. But It’s too late already.
What should she do now? She is suffering. So to console herself, she has established a few explanations supporting her act. According to the explanations, she missed the opportunity because she is spending a lot of money lately and cannot allow herself to spend more unless it is necessary. Besides, she did not want it and thought it would have been a waste.
Forming these explanations has been helpful for her to calm her mind but not enough. What else can be done to do to calm herself completely? Yeah, she can go for the music therapy that she has learned about very recently. Music therapy is one of the most effective therapies to calm people’s minds by listening to music. It helps them in getting rid of their depression, anxiety, stress, and so on.
She is now feeling a lot better after listening to her favorite songs for a while. Not just music therapy, everything we learn in our life can be a great help for us whenever we are badly in need of help that we cannot get from anywhere else but from ourselves.
Love is one of the most commonly used words in the world to express someone’s affection for the other. This is not just a word to say but a feeling that makes you feel important to someone and close to the one’s heart. While building a relationship between two people, love is the most important thing to exist. Without love, the base of a relationship can never be strong. It remains quite fragile and even breaks easily whenever there is a wild wind on it.
As a person, I feel that we should never underestimate love for living a long, happy life. From my perspective, love is a verb which was also told by Stephen R. Covey in his book named “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” It is not just about telling my feeling to someone but making them feel loved through my activities and there should be a consistency too! And this way I can earn their love too. Besides, I think love is the greatest weapon to win not only someone’s heart but also overcome any difficult situation that cannot be overcome alone. Love is also the best medicine on earth to remain happy till the end of one’s life.
A loving relationship stands for a relationship that is built on love and respect for each other and this relationship can be built either before or after marriage. There can also be marital relationships between two people who do not love each other but we cannot call it a loving relationship. Having love between them is the prime condition here. Loving relationships benefit both the people in a relationship. It has both scientific and social explanations about it.
According to medical science, people who are in love get to live longer than others who are not in love and suffer from stress, loneliness, depression and anxiety. Besides, love helps in the development of the physical health of the people. From research, scientists have learnt that people with loving relationships with their partners heal quickly from any kind of wound. As love allows people to have a healthy life so loving people do not get sick quite often, they grow a strong immunity system in them. Any kind of heart disease can be deadly for people and luckily people in love have a lower chance of suffering from heart disease as love keeps their hearts healthy. With the touch of the beloved person, bodily pain can be reduced and it has been proven by scientists. They feel less pain than the other people who are not in love. Sometimes, loving relationships also help in remaining physically fit. Loving people can easily achieve their weight loss or weight gain plans. Love also helps in keeping a lower blood pressure of the people who are in a loving relationship.
Loving relationship not only helps in the improvement of physical health but also in mental health. People in a loving relationship can get rid of stress from work pressure and any other difficulties faster than others as spending time with the beloved person and talking to them reduces stress and releases dopamine which is a hormone that boosts people’s energy to do everything, makes them cheerful and motivates to achieve goals of their lives and so on. Any kind of physical contact with the beloved person can make the people in love happy, delightful and motivated.
From the societal perspective, when there is love between people, peace and harmony are maintained within the society. The hatred between people not only affects the people in a relationship but also the people who are close to them. We could understand it very well from the events of the divorce and defamation case between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. The bitterness of their relationship even affected the lives of their co-workers, friends and relatives. If they had a loving relationship, the ending could be far better than we can think. Besides, people can provide emotional support to each other for overcoming challenges in their lives. A loving relationship with partners also helps in gaining wealth and becoming rich according to Napoleon Hill in his book named “Think and Grow Rich.” Moreover, love creates a healthy relationship between people and improves communication between them which let them share everything even their joys and sorrows.
Above all, loving relationships allow us to be happy and enjoy our lives together to the fullest which makes our lives better than ever. We get to achieve everything we want holding hands together. We should love each other and build loving relationships to become successful in our lives in a true sense and get a long, healthy life.
Toxic parenting has become a common occurrence around us. We often notice that children are becoming socially awkward or violent with others or committing suicide due to failure in the examinations, social relationships and so on. It’s also noticeable that adults are failing in their relationships, unhappy in their social and personal life, depressed, committing suicide etc. Not all but in the significant cases, these children and adults are somehow abused by their parents which is leading them to a lack of self-confidence, social awkwardness, feeling demotivated, anxiety and depression.
Parents protect their children from harm and provide them with their basic needs such as food, clothing, habitat, medical care and education. They also provide their children with financial support, safety, supervision and control. But sometimes they start causing emotional damage to their children through their negative and poisonous behaviour and this is how they turn themselves into toxic parents. They start expecting higher and higher from their children and compare them with other’s children. They nip their children’s potential in the bud and force them to fulfil their dreams neglecting the children’s dreams. Sometimes they start asking for a return from their children as they are spending for them.
There are different types of toxic parents such as the inadequate parents, the controllers, the alcoholics, the verbal abusers, the physical abusers and the sexual abusers. The inadequate parents remain busy with their problems and not only ignore taking care of their children but also force their children to take care of them. The controllers use guilt, manipulation, and over-helpfulness as their strong weapons toward their children to control their children’s lives. The alcoholics are always mired in denial and have chaotic mood swings. They get a little chance to do parenting towards their children. The verbal abusers constantly make fun of their children, criticize them, humiliate them and also curse them. The physical abusers cannot control their rage and hurt their children physically but often blame their children for their behaviour. The sexual abusers are the ultimate betrayers. They ruin their children’s childhood.
On the contrary, good parents have several traits that made them successful in their parenthood. Love and affection from parents are one of the greatest needs of children. Good parents deliver adequate love and affection to their children that make them psychologically developed. Besides, they have good communication with their children and their children also feel free, reliable and safe to share their words with them. They often set limits for their children so that they do not become reckless in their lives. Another trait of good parents is they manage their stress and never do anything wrong to their children or hurt them by giving excuses for being stressed. They become role models to their children, teach them how to take responsibility in their lives and never encourage them to be dependent on them. Children of good parents get to learn new positive experiences under their parents’ supervision.
Children of toxic parents can rarely have a normal life like others. They face difficulties while socializing with others. They often fail in their relationships with their partners and children. They think themselves liable for whatever happens to them and start hating themselves. They often become violent or co-dependent or ignorant of their partners. Sometimes despite their unwillingness, they are controlled by their parents and become unable to be individuals. Due to depression and anxiety, they often kill themselves or remain living dead for the rest of their lives.
Children are also human beings. They deserve love and care. They have the right to make the decisions in their lives. Parents can contribute a lot by instructing them about good and bad but they should not force their opinion on their children. This makes the children frustrated and their self-worthiness becomes questioned. Every child is born with their potential. Parents should help them to find out their potential and interests. Today’s children are tomorrow’s world leaders. If they can unleash their potential and work with them, numerous possibilities will come and they can make a better future for the world.
As conscious human beings, each of us should focus on good parenting and stop toxic parenting right now. A better future for the children is in our hands. We can protect the very heart of the children’s childhood just by giving them proper love and care as well as opportunities to unleash their potential. We have to give them the chance to be different from us and become individuals.
Neera just moved in her new flat last week. She never stayed away from home but this time she had to move in a whole new city for work. Now she’s trying her level best to cope up with the new place and she has already made some progress too. People living in her neighborhood are so kind to her. They are friendly and helpful. They welcomed her warmly with a lot of gifts and best wishes.
Today is a big day at work for Neera and so she is getting ready. When she is about to go out she notices a little boy standing outside her door. The boy is carrying a small basket and asks her to help him with some money as he is poor and he needs the money for his sick mother’s treatment. Neera ignores the boy and say that she is getting late for her first day at work.
When she reaches her workplace, she becomes surprised seeing a big arrangement for welcoming her. She thanks her colleagues for the arrangement and returns home at night with a lot of gifts. She starts thinking herself lucky for getting cordial acceptance by both her neighbors and colleagues. She thought that she’s all alone in the city but actually she’s not.
After returning home, she notices that the little boy is still on her doorstep with tearful eyes. She feels irritated and asks him what he wants but the boy remains still and starts weeping. Then he starts talking slowly about his mother’s death. She asks him about his father but the boy doesn’t know where he is. He left them a long ago.
Neera becomes worried because she has no idea about what to do right now. She can’t ignore the boy and leave him on the road alone at night and also can’t keep the unknown boy at her house. So she calls the police and asks them to take care of the boy and goes to sleep after a long busy day.
In the next morning, a police officer comes to visit her with the boy and asks her if she’s interested in adopting him. Otherwise they’ll give him to another family whoever will be interested in adopting him. She notices that the little boy is looking at her with tearful eyes and trying to say that he would love to stay with her. Neera fails to ignore the boy this time and agrees to adopt him.
After five years, everything is changed around Neera. Now she understands that once she was overwhelmed by the wishes of the fake well-wishers around her. There is none but a single true well-wisher of her who is her adopted son, Neeloy. Though she ignored him that day and prioritized her first day at work and competitive colleagues. That was truly a big day for her but not for that big arrangement at her work; for getting Neeloy in her life.
Who are we? Human beings? Really? As human beings, aren’t we suppose to have some human rights? Why are we threatened by the people around us all the time?
People start cursing us if we try to do something against their wills. We want the right to be an individual. We want to do whatever we want to do. We want to say whatever we want to say without any fear or hesitation. We want to live freely. We are not the slaves of the people around us and the people around us are not God too. We have only one God to whom we are accountable for our deeds. We have rights to live, speak, give our opinions, learn things, take our own decisions and enjoy our life.
These toxic people around us are none but our closer ones who think that only by following their instructions we can be successful in our lives otherwise we will suffer in the long run. Whatever happens they just keep forcing us for implementing their wills and nip our potentials in the bud. Sometimes their higher expectations and continuous pressure lead us to commit suicide or remain living dead for the rest of their lives. We condemn this culture and want to get rid of it as soon as possible. Whoever the people are to us they have no right to make our lives hell and ruin our potentials.
Nondefensiveness is an interesting skill to learn for dealing with people around us. We often try to defend ourselves to win an argument with people which actually lengthens the argument and makes us sorry. We hand over much of our power to the people unconsciously by defending ourselves while arguing. But we don’t need to argue, apologize or explain; we just need to respond nondefensively which will help us to reserve our power, gain more control over ourselves and value our feelings about ourselves over people’s sayings about us.
We often think that money can buy everything and these everything can make us happy. So we hanker after money for the entire life. We not only sacrifice our happiness for riches, fame and power but also don’t care about the sources of our actual happiness much. After a certain period of time we become all alone as we valued money in our earlier days more than our relationships with our family and friends and spent more time hankering after money than passing time with them. People may think that we are happy or we may show off our fake happiness to them but ultimately we suffer from pain inside. Many well established people who seemed happy to us committed suicide due to the loneliness. Obviously we need money in our lives but there should be a limit. We often cross the limit to get all the best things in our lives. And so on the last days of our lives we may feel that we have everything that we purchased once but there’s no one as our true well wishers. Moreover, we must leave all our riches before death. We cannot take a single dime with us. So having good relationships with our family and friends, passing enough time with them are necessary. They are the sources of our actual happiness. At the end of our lives we all need love and care from them. Our money can give us almost everything we want but true love, care and peace cannot be purchased. Only our closest ones can provide us with these and also remember us and pray for us with love and respect even after our death.
04:00 am Waking up, Meditating 04:30 am Walking 05:00 am Having Meal 1 (Breakfast) 05:30 am Reading 06:00 am Writing 06:30 am Exercise, Yoga 07:00 am Having Shower 07:30 am Having Meal 2 08:00 am Start Working 12:00 pm Having Meal 3 (Lunch) 03:00 pm Having Meal 4 (Snacks) 05:00 pm Having Meal 5 (Supper) 08:00 pm Sleeping
A long period has been passed and I am mature now. Today I am going to tell you, ups and downs of my life, what or who is the most influential to me and what decisions I took, what are the major milestones of my life and so on. There are ups and downs in life and all have to go through these ups and downs; that is why, though there are success and failure in life, life goes on. People need someone’s influence in our lives and they cannot deny the influence of the person or thing that helps them to reach their goals. I also have a person who is very much influential in my life and she is my mother. My mother is always with me whatever my situation is and I believe that she is the person for whom I am now in this position. One of the major milestones of my life is getting the Best Student Award in 2016 from my college. Getting this award is not too easy to anyone and I am the luckiest who have gotten this award. My another major milestone in life is getting the chance of the admission to this renowned institution. I have also gotten many prizes for academic and co-curricular activities too. In my life, I need to take several decisions; they can be right or wrong. If they are wrong I need to take the right decision by thinking twice and taking suggestions from others. One of the major decisions of my life is choosing my aim in life which is the most important decision taken by me. I prefer to do things differently because I think there is no speciality doing things as all do. So, I always try to do things in my own way and show my creativity to my job that makes my job special and extraordinary than others. From the life, It is known that people should trust the person who is actually their well-wisher and not the other who is their hidden enemy that is why they need to learn how to identify well-wishers and hidden enemies; there is also another thing that, all are not important for people’s life so people also need to learn to identify the necessary and unnecessary things in life. Now according to my life’s roadmap, I want to give you some advice that may help you a lot in your life. They are, you have to learn to take the right decision, do things differently with your creativity; identify the well-wishers of you who can be influential to your life and learn to identify what is important to you. No more today. Best wishes to you; do the right things and be successful in your life.
Ishrata 